Psalm 51

Have you ever been so eaten with guilt and shame it hindered your relationship with Christ and your confidence to be a witness?

Recently I've been filled with guilt and shame. I've been lacking devotion in my walk with Christ. I rarely dig deep into God's word and my prayer life has been much weaker than it was previously. I know I'm a saved Christian and it is God's will for me to be a light but I felt so unworthy to do this. However, we have sinful natures and God is willing to forgive us IF we come before Him and truly confess them. Then, we must also cut ourselves some slack, quit having self-pity, and get on with what God NEEDS us to do. 

Last night, I was filled with guilt and unworthiness. I was in need of forgiveness, and I'd prayed for forgiveness, and while God had let it go, I hadn't. I was still dwelling on my mistakes. I was longing for God's presence and closeness I'd once felt. But it was relationship firmly built on many days of meditating on God's word and constant prayer. It's like having a best friend you're really close to and they move away. When you come in contact with them again it feels rusty. God is ALWAYS there for you. He never leaves you, but when you stray from a devoted walk, you're going to feel distanced from His presence.

Last night, I opened my bible to Psalm 51. It's David's plea for mercy, forgiveness, and cleansing after he committed adultery with Bathsheba. If you are need of redemption this is a passage to read!
David comes with a sincere heart and lays out all his sins before God.

Verses 10-12 read- "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of the salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." It was so refreshing to know David felt the same way I did. I was begging God to just allow me to feel his closeness and longing to feel that joy I once had from God's salvation.

The point of this post is you can never fall so far that God won't forgive you. David committed adultery and murder and he was still described as man after God's own heart. If you are feeling far from God I encourage you to read Psalm 51 and use David's sincere plea as an example for your own walk with Christ. Being a Christian doesn't mean you're never going to fall short, it means we should take responsibility when we fall short. Don't hide in shame and guilt and continue to distance yourself from God. Ask for forgiveness. Lay it all out before God and when He forgives you, forgive yourself as well, so you can have His free spirit and be renewed and restored with the joy you once had.  He still may not feel as close but draw near to him, indulge in prayer and in the bible, and He will make Himself known. Don't allow Satan to guilt you into avoiding time with God. God is ready to forgive you!

Dressing To Impress

Coming home from school the other day, I was reflecting over my day and hoping that I made a good impression on specific people throughout the day. It occurred to me, that all the people I wanted to be a good example to, were Christians strong in their faith. I'm not saying that's wrong. We should be good examples to our brothers and sisters and Christ, someone that has an uplifting presence.

However, I began feeling very guilty because I realized I was more concerned about how I behaved in front of other Christians rather than those who didn't know Christ. So many times we get too caught up in being the "perfect Christian" in front of other Christians. Christianity is not a contest. It's not about who retweeted the most uplifting tweets, listened to the most worship music, or studied the most bible verses, and it's not about bragging about that in front of others so they can see you are the "good". It's about how the bible verses, worship music, and the love Christ has for us shapes us and flows from our hearts in front of others, children of God but especially in front of the world.

Let's face it. No one is the "perfect Christian". There are days when we don't spend enough time in God's word, we choose getting on our phones instead of spending quiet time with God, or we let the stress get the best of us and react in anger towards someone. But we want our church friends to know that we have it together. We put on a façade. It's similar to the way we dress when we know important people will see us. Maybe you're trying to impress the cute boy that sits next to you in class or you want all your girlfriends to see you as someone with a perfect sense of style. So we put on our best outfit and try to look the best we can to get them to notice. We dress to impress others. We often do the same in our faith. Wanting others to take notice, we try to act like we live the perfect life, and forget the main reason we should be striving to live better. The lost. Our goal shouldn't be to impress but to impact.

When we start focusing on just impressing other Christians, we're losing sight of the mission. Mark 16: 15 tells us to "go into all the world and preach the gospel". God sent His son to save everyone. He left His people the job to spread that message. They way we want other Christians to see us, is the way we should want the world to see us. Salvation doesn't come with a light switch that we can turn on and off whenever we desire. Our lives should portray the same message to everyone. Don't just tell your church friends about your new favorite worship song or about God providing you with peace or revealing something to you through His word. Let the whole world know! That's what God desires of us. Yes, it's so refreshing to hear one of my friends tell me about her joy in Christ but that doesn't mean she can't tell others. The joy and passion God so gracefully gives us should be overflowing and evident to everyone, saved and lost!

Stop focusing on trying to act your best in front of other Christians. Focus on your walk with Christ and develop an intimate relationship with Him. Let Him renew your mind and spirit continuously through the day. Pray to be so full of His love that it pours out to everyone that comes in contact with you. It's impossible to be the "perfect Christian", but when you quit worrying about your image and allow God to transform you, I promise you will become a greater testimony to God's people and the world. It will be authentic and genuine. Trying to be the best you can be is exhausting because you're trying to do the impossible, but allowing a perfect God to use you as vessel will uplift you as much as those around you.

Psalm 37: 7-9

I haven't posted lately because I've been waiting to be led to a topic. Tonight I opened up my devotional book Magnetic to where I last left off. Patience. The thing I love about this book is how broad its interpretation for each fruit of the spirit is. This chapter wasn't just about waiting but how to demonstrate patience to others, yourself, and God. It's so relevant to girls my age.
I was getting close to finishing up the segment on patience and it led me to Psalm 37. I encourage you to read the whole chapter because it focuses on waiting on God's timing. My book was mainly centered around verses one through nine. I read those nine verses several times. Seven through nine really pulled at my heart.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him, do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret- it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land."

So many times when I feel like I'm treated unfairly, I get angry and try to take things into my own hands. I feel sorry for myself. I throw myself a pity party. Then I begin to build up anger, envy, and hatred. A lot of the times people that are doing wrong are continuously getting away with it. This frustrates me more. How can others get away with doing so much wrong and treating others so unfairly?

 First off, I'm not their judge- God is. I have no place to be mad about others' sins. I should only be worried about being the best me I can be and God's plan for me.

Here's what Psalm 37: 7-9 showed me tonight:

1. Be still, wait, and don't fret. It tells us to be still and wait on the Lord. So many times we panic and try to fix things ourselves instead of resting in God's presence waiting for the plan He has. If we wait, He has a better solution. That requires us to be still. Sit and ask God for guidance in unfair situations and pray to react in a Christ-like way.

2. Don't worry about those doing wrong. Like I said, we are not the judge. Sometimes it's so hard not to get frustrated because we think it's unfair and no one is ever going to see their true colors. But God promises in verse 9 that they "will be destroyed". Of course it may not be as soon as we want, but we must trust in this promise and wait on His timing. We can't get caught up on those who are going unpunished.

3. Don't repay evil with evil. Verse 8 says "refrain from anger and turn from wrath. . .it leads only to evil". Most of the time when we take things into our own hands, it's not out of brotherly love but out of anger and envy. Just because someone has done us wrong doesn't mean we have the right to hate them and react in anger. We are stooping the same level as them. That is not who Christ has called us to be. He wants to see us turn the other cheek, react in love and forgiveness, and flee from evil. Yes it is hard, but when we do this we are waiting on God's timing. Verse 9 also holds another promise. "Those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land." What a beautiful, reassuring promise!

 

God will deliver us if we just wait on Him. He has so many great things in store for us but we can't get impatient when we are treated unfairly and try to fix the situation ourselves. It's so hard to let things go sometimes, but it takes surrendering our will to God's will and trusting He will take care of it. "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me." Trust in God's perfect promise!

 

Please take the time to read Psalm 37. I hope it blesses you like it blessed me!

A Week Full of Jesus!

So I had an amazing week from start to finish and I wanted to share it with you all!

To start the week off, I was assigned to do a speech in Oral Com about a person, event, phrase, or just something that defined me or shaped me into the person I am today. I couldn't really pin just one thing to define me, so I decided to use the song "Thrive" and basically talk about how I wanted others to identify me with Christ. On the morning of my speech, I wasn't super sure if this speech was going to be all that great. I was driving to school listening to Spotify in on my phone. But an ad stopped my music on Spotify so I angrily switched to the K-Love and guess what song was playing. Yes, Thrive. I know for a fact that God was reassuring me right there that my speech was what it was supposed to be. God continued to work in Oral Com and did a few other things that I believe He's still working on in that class.

All throughout the week, God was evident in many ways and it was so refreshing!

Then came Amplify! Hannah and I left after school and drove to Holland Baptist Church to spend the weekend at a free Christian music festival. I cannot put into words how AMAZING it was! The first performer was Colton Dixon who was one of my favorites if not my absolute favorite! I loved his performance because he was so sincere in the way he worshiped and it could have easily been an actual worship service! Plus I've always been a fan of his and all of his songs.

 

For King and Country closed out that night and they put on a show! They were probably the most talented band I've ever seen. There's no telling how many instruments they incorporated and how many each member could play! They put on the best show for the weekend! If I was to go see anyone again, it would be for King and Country.

 

Saturday afternoon, Alex Edmonds and Dan Bremnes each put on a short show and were very good! Unspoken came on next and they were just really neat to listen to! I wasn't really looking forward to Plumb, but once she hit the stage I really enjoyed her! I only heard a portion of her testimony but from what I heard it was a really moving one! Next was Matt Maher, and he had the best worship for Saturday. "Lord I Need You" has always been one of my favorite songs and when that song started playing, you could feel God moving everyone there. The last performer was Tenth Avenue North, and their lead singer was FULL of energy. They did awesome and closed the festival perfectly. The night ended in a beautiful firework show.

 

 The best part about Amplify was getting to see everyone worship. It was so beautiful to look around and see everyone lifting their hands and voices up to our amazing Savior. I was in awe in how many people were there. Both nights God gave us a beautiful sunset that went down right behind the stage from where we were standing. This picture of Plumb was my favorite from the weekend.

 

 

 

One of the few times we actually sat down!

We made it home about 1:30 in the morning but it was all worth it!

 

I closed out my weekend with my church family, watching Do You Believe? If you have not seen this movie, I highly recommend you do! This movie reveals how God works in ways beyond our understanding. It was very moving!

 

To say I'm pumped or on a Jesus high, would be an understatement. God is good all the time!



 

 

 

 

 



I Am Not Perfect.

I started this blog because I wanted to share Jesus. I wanted to share the love and joy I have found in Him in hopes someone else might find that joy. I wanted to share my trials and temptations so maybe someone would read this and realize they aren't alone in their struggles. I want every single one of my posts to be uplifting and encouraging. This blog doesn't make me any better of a Christian or any less of a sinner. However, I feel like God led me to do this and can and will use it for His good. I still struggle with the everyday sins and temptations of this world. I don't always walk as close to God as I should. I don't always show His love to others, forgive like I'm called to do, or behave like a Christian should. I am a sinner. Me being saved doesn't mean I'm not going to mess up, but that when I do, I have a merciful God that will forgive me the instant I ask. What a blessing!

I have grown closer to Christ this past year, and blogging allows me to share to more than just the people I come in contact with everyday. It is out on the internet for any of my Facebook friends to see or anyone else who stumbles upon this website.

No one is perfect. I am not perfect. Ecclesiastes 7:20 says, "For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not." This verse is saying there is not one person that will ever walk the face of the earth and not mess up. The only one that ever will is Jesus Christ, Himself. That is the whole reason we have Jesus Christ. He came and lived the perfect life none of us could live and became the ultimate sacrifice when He died and rose again.

We should not expect perfection out of anyone, and no one should expect perfection out of us. As Christians, it's not our jobs to judge the way others Christians are behaving. God is the only righteous judge. It's our job to encourage them to get back on the right path and pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Galatians 6:1- "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness....."
Romans 14:19- "So then let us pursue what make for peace and for mutual upbuilding."

I know I am not perfect. I know I never will be perfect. I mess up EVERY SINGLE DAY. I will never achieve perfection. The only thing I can do is ask God to lead me every single day. I know there will be times I stray. Sometimes I may not be the witness I should be to those watching. But I hope and pray that any of my brothers and sisters in Christ have enough of His love inside of them to accept and forgive me rather than condemn me. The devil is always working to ruin a testimony. We should not allow the devil to use us to discourage other Christians. Be uplifting. Forgive.

This blog is not what qualifies me as a Christian. Christ knows my heart. This blog should not be the only thing that testifies to my salvation. My actions, words, and daily walk with Christ should portray Him just as much. However, I can edit my blog. I can't edit my words once they've come out. I can't edit my actions once they've been acted. Therefore, I am going to mess up ALOT, and I can't "delete" it. I have to live with each mistake I make. I have to put forth the effort and pray for God to speak through me and for my actions to represent Him. Thankfully, when I don't, God has already paid the price.

God has been so good to me and I know He wants me sharing what He's done and is doing in my life. "...For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required..." (Luke 12:48) Whether it's through my blog or through my actions, if someone sees Him, it's something of worth.

I want everyone to experience salvation and the joy of it! I cannot put into words how great God's love is and how amazing it is to have a friend in Him! I enjoy writing and I definitely enjoy worshipping Christ. God has given an opportunity to collaborate the two, and I'm going to keep on until He is the one who leads me elsewhere.

Mr. Right needs a Mrs. Right

Every girl has a dream guy. We have this "future husband" designed in our minds that possesses special personality traits and physical features. Three years ago, our girl's bible study began a study on purity using the book And the Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh. In this study, we designed our "Mr. Right". Being a Christian in today's world, it's hard to date and find someone with the same morals and standards. We didn't create our "Mr. Right" to plan how attractive we expected our future husband to be, but the standards we expected him to meet. Some of my qualities listed... "spiritual leader, good listener, confident, pure, has Godly friends, giving, etc.". It's so important to have a set of standards you expect your future spouse to have, and it's important to go by those standards when choosing who to date.

About a week ago, I purchased Magnetic by Lynn Cowell after my friend recommended it. The book focuses on how to become a girl that attains all the fruits of spirits that's "magnetic" to the right type of guys that God wants us to be interested in. After starting in on the first few pages, I took my "Mr. Right" out of my bedside table.

 

For those of you who don't know, I have been in a relationship for almost three years now with Dustin Forsythe. We both love Jesus Christ and want others to see Him through us and our relationship. When I started in on Magnetic I began feeling very guilty. I want Dustin to be my "Mr. Right" and I had caught myself getting upset and reacting in anger when Dustin upset me or maybe couldn't come see me due to uncontrollable situations. I wasn't loving and forgiving the way I expected my "Mr. Right" to love and forgive me. It's so easy to get caught up in what we want and need and forgetting how we should be meeting the needs of others.

I looked at my little paper-made "Mr. Right" and imagined a cut-out "Mrs. Right" created by Dustin. What Godly qualities does he desire her to have? Would I meet them all? He may not have it written down on paper but I know in his mind he a has his "Mrs. Right". Instead of striving to be a virtuous woman of God that acted in love, kindness, joyfulness, and forgave, I had got caught up in what I wanted and when I didn't get my way, I let myself act bitter and angry.

The point of this post is the "Mr. Right" needs a "Mrs. Right" and vice versa. While we plan for this great Godly person to come into our lives, we need to allow God to transform us into the Godly person that will attract the right person. We can't put the expectations on someone else and go about living a secular life. That's not going to attract the man/woman of God we want. We must put our faith in God's timing that He will bring us to that person. Maybe we are already in a relationship. Work hard to build that relationship on the foundation of Christ, but we should keep focusing on ourselves individually too. Show the Christ-like love we long to receive. If we begin to ask God to give us the love, patience, and forgiveness we need, it's amazing how He can change our attitude about everything. It's so much easier to let go of the little things and react in love and forgiveness versus bitterness.

I encourage everyone to have a set of standards to go by when dating and if making your own "Mr. Right" helps, create one for yourself! But don't stop there. I made myself a "Mrs. Right" that night, that listed the qualities that I should pray for and strive to possess. Challenge yourself to love deeper and wider, forgive quicker, and be more patient. It starts within ourselves. Before you start searching, be content with your relationship with Jesus Christ. We will never be satisfied if we expect our "Mr. Right" to completely satisfy us. True satisfaction comes from the love that can only be given from Christ alone. Don't put pressure on yourself to become perfect, because we can never be perfect for anyone either. If someone is expecting you to be perfect, they haven't been satisfied completely with Christ either. Remember Jesus is the only perfect being, and we are all going to make mistakes. That's why it's so important to be able to love and forgive. Don't work to achieve perfection but work to become as Christ-like as possible.

This was so eye-opening and God really showed me what I could start doing to better myself for me and how I could become more "magnetic" for Dustin. Christian people are drawn to joyful people. Instead of only thinking of "Mr. Right", think of what you can do to become "Mrs. Right" and attract that person God desires you to! "Mr. Right" needs a "Mrs. Right"!

I highly recommend Magnetic by Lynn Cowell and And the Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh

Another Blessed Summer

Since school is right around the corner, I thought I'd share the experiences God blessed me with this summer. Summer break is never really a break for me, however, I love staying busy, traveling, and having fun. I kicked off my summer with cheer camp with my squad only a day after school let out!

The week after I came home, I started my first job as a waitress at Little Italy. I also got help out with our Mini Basketball camp in the afternoons and our basketball team attend team camp at OBU during the evenings.

Next was my favorite part of every summer. West Central Camp at Bogg Springs! My first year there I was only 6 months old. I wouldn't miss it for anything. This year was my second year to be brave and ride the zip line, and our church's volleyball team ended up getting runner-up in the tournament. God never ceases to amaze me. His presence is EVERYWHERE at that camp. It's so refreshing to see souls saved and be somewhere where everyone is on fire of God. It's like a slice of heaven.

Right before beating Athens!



After so many years you begin to make friends and expect to see them every year. It's always great getting to see Alli and Caleb!

I had about a week of just working and being home with the family, and also celebrated Dustin's birthday before leaving for the beach. I got to vacation a week with my best friend Brennan and her family. It was a week full of eating tons of sea food, kayaking, sun bathing, and enjoying our four flights of stairs that led to our bedroom.

After my first helicopter ride. Definitely not my last! Favorite part of the trip!

Kayaking with Brennan.

The day after coming home from the beach, my family loaded up the camper and I got to spend another week in sun at the lake. Then I attended my last ever basketball team camp at Arkansas Tech. This is by far my favorite camp! I cannot believe my years of team camps are gone!

I left from Tech and repacked my bags for a weekend in Alabama for our annual family reunion. I love getting to visit my family there! If I couldn't live in Arkansas, Alabama would definitely be next choice!

Maggie, Carlan, and I at the family reunion.

After Alabama I spent my last couple of weeks at home working, hanging out with friends and family, and our church also had an AMAZING revival.

We got to go to the Blue Hole twice this summer! I stuck to holding the air mattresses while everyone else jumped.

We had one last pool party at Jade's after football and cheer practice!

We went bowling a few times this summer. The boys may have been a little bit better than us girls, but we managed to bowl a few strikes!

This summer was another one full of camps and traveling. I love getting to go places and spend time with my friends and family. I am so fortunate to have had so many opportunities. It's really sad knowing at this time next year I won't be going back Centerpoint, but headed to college. Back to school is always challenging for Christians, and we often get pulled back into the world. I encourage everyone to stay close to God by staying in constant prayer and by digging into His word. I can't wait to see what God has in store for this last year of high school. Be bold and be courageous! You never know who is watching and what type of impact you're making!