Psalm 51

Have you ever been so eaten with guilt and shame it hindered your relationship with Christ and your confidence to be a witness?

Recently I've been filled with guilt and shame. I've been lacking devotion in my walk with Christ. I rarely dig deep into God's word and my prayer life has been much weaker than it was previously. I know I'm a saved Christian and it is God's will for me to be a light but I felt so unworthy to do this. However, we have sinful natures and God is willing to forgive us IF we come before Him and truly confess them. Then, we must also cut ourselves some slack, quit having self-pity, and get on with what God NEEDS us to do. 

Last night, I was filled with guilt and unworthiness. I was in need of forgiveness, and I'd prayed for forgiveness, and while God had let it go, I hadn't. I was still dwelling on my mistakes. I was longing for God's presence and closeness I'd once felt. But it was relationship firmly built on many days of meditating on God's word and constant prayer. It's like having a best friend you're really close to and they move away. When you come in contact with them again it feels rusty. God is ALWAYS there for you. He never leaves you, but when you stray from a devoted walk, you're going to feel distanced from His presence.

Last night, I opened my bible to Psalm 51. It's David's plea for mercy, forgiveness, and cleansing after he committed adultery with Bathsheba. If you are need of redemption this is a passage to read!
David comes with a sincere heart and lays out all his sins before God.

Verses 10-12 read- "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of the salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." It was so refreshing to know David felt the same way I did. I was begging God to just allow me to feel his closeness and longing to feel that joy I once had from God's salvation.

The point of this post is you can never fall so far that God won't forgive you. David committed adultery and murder and he was still described as man after God's own heart. If you are feeling far from God I encourage you to read Psalm 51 and use David's sincere plea as an example for your own walk with Christ. Being a Christian doesn't mean you're never going to fall short, it means we should take responsibility when we fall short. Don't hide in shame and guilt and continue to distance yourself from God. Ask for forgiveness. Lay it all out before God and when He forgives you, forgive yourself as well, so you can have His free spirit and be renewed and restored with the joy you once had.  He still may not feel as close but draw near to him, indulge in prayer and in the bible, and He will make Himself known. Don't allow Satan to guilt you into avoiding time with God. God is ready to forgive you!

Dressing To Impress

Coming home from school the other day, I was reflecting over my day and hoping that I made a good impression on specific people throughout the day. It occurred to me, that all the people I wanted to be a good example to, were Christians strong in their faith. I'm not saying that's wrong. We should be good examples to our brothers and sisters and Christ, someone that has an uplifting presence.

However, I began feeling very guilty because I realized I was more concerned about how I behaved in front of other Christians rather than those who didn't know Christ. So many times we get too caught up in being the "perfect Christian" in front of other Christians. Christianity is not a contest. It's not about who retweeted the most uplifting tweets, listened to the most worship music, or studied the most bible verses, and it's not about bragging about that in front of others so they can see you are the "good". It's about how the bible verses, worship music, and the love Christ has for us shapes us and flows from our hearts in front of others, children of God but especially in front of the world.

Let's face it. No one is the "perfect Christian". There are days when we don't spend enough time in God's word, we choose getting on our phones instead of spending quiet time with God, or we let the stress get the best of us and react in anger towards someone. But we want our church friends to know that we have it together. We put on a façade. It's similar to the way we dress when we know important people will see us. Maybe you're trying to impress the cute boy that sits next to you in class or you want all your girlfriends to see you as someone with a perfect sense of style. So we put on our best outfit and try to look the best we can to get them to notice. We dress to impress others. We often do the same in our faith. Wanting others to take notice, we try to act like we live the perfect life, and forget the main reason we should be striving to live better. The lost. Our goal shouldn't be to impress but to impact.

When we start focusing on just impressing other Christians, we're losing sight of the mission. Mark 16: 15 tells us to "go into all the world and preach the gospel". God sent His son to save everyone. He left His people the job to spread that message. They way we want other Christians to see us, is the way we should want the world to see us. Salvation doesn't come with a light switch that we can turn on and off whenever we desire. Our lives should portray the same message to everyone. Don't just tell your church friends about your new favorite worship song or about God providing you with peace or revealing something to you through His word. Let the whole world know! That's what God desires of us. Yes, it's so refreshing to hear one of my friends tell me about her joy in Christ but that doesn't mean she can't tell others. The joy and passion God so gracefully gives us should be overflowing and evident to everyone, saved and lost!

Stop focusing on trying to act your best in front of other Christians. Focus on your walk with Christ and develop an intimate relationship with Him. Let Him renew your mind and spirit continuously through the day. Pray to be so full of His love that it pours out to everyone that comes in contact with you. It's impossible to be the "perfect Christian", but when you quit worrying about your image and allow God to transform you, I promise you will become a greater testimony to God's people and the world. It will be authentic and genuine. Trying to be the best you can be is exhausting because you're trying to do the impossible, but allowing a perfect God to use you as vessel will uplift you as much as those around you.